Tips for Grandparents Raising Grandchildren
For most of us, grandparenting means spending enjoyable time with our grandchildren here and there, but not on a 24/7 basis. We make the most of the treasured moments we share and then go back to our own lives. But, across the United States, more grandparents than you might expect are parenting their grandchildren. They are taking on a responsibility that nobody expects to face in the later decades of life.
These individuals have already raised their own children and now have their grandchildren under their constant care and supervision. There are many different reasons why it happens, from the death of a parent to parental abandonment. Whatever the reason, caring grandparents are stepping up and giving of themselves to make a better life for their grandchildren.
The self-sacrifice of grandparents assuming such a formidable role is generous and noble. It is challenging and demanding. But, taking on such an important role in a child’s life also brings many rewards and much joy as well.
If you’re a grandparent raising your grandchildren, we admire and salute you. We hope these tips from grandparents who have also assumed a parental role will be helpful to you. If you know someone who is parenting grandchildren, we hope you will share the tips with that person.
Tips from parenting grandparents...
Bolster the child’s feelings of safety and well-being. There isn’t much more disconcerting for children than being separated from a parent. Your consistent and comforting presence in their lives can help the experience be less painful. Make sure your grandchildren feel safe and secure. Assure them of your love. Let them know you are there for the long haul and will not abandon them.
Create some structure. Children need structure in their lives to feel safe and secure, especially with the upheaval of being separated from their parents. Having routines, schedules, and rituals in the home create a sense of consistency that can make life a bit more predictable, which feels comforting and safe to children. This doesn’t mean flexibility isn’t also important as well. There are times when going with the flow enhances everyone’s happiness.
Establish open lines of communication. Talk openly and honestly with your grandchildren and encourage them to do the same with you. This means really listening when they speak and open up to you. Encourage them to talk about their emotions and feelings, when they are feeling up and when they are feeling down. Respect their feelings and comments without judgement.
Take care of your own well-being. Don’t forget about your own personal needs and happiness. Don’t walk away from your own life to concentrate all your attention on your grandchildren. Nurture yourself. Remain engaged in things you enjoy. Carve out time for your favorite activities and hobbies. Don’t allow yourself to be cut off from friends. Stay connected to the important people in your life other than your grandchildren.
Be health conscious. Take care of the health of your grandchildren as well as your own health. Make sure the whole family has regular medical checkups, eats well, sleeps enough, and gets some exercise. It is tempting to let your own health slide when caring for children but remember you won’t be able to take the best care of your grandchildren if you are not in good health yourself.
Seek out and accept help. If you have extended family who can pick up some of the slack when things in your home are busy or difficult, make sure to use their help. Don’t hesitate to ask for (or expect) some assistance. Also look for help in your community. There are government services that offer aid for parenting grandparents, as well as support groups where grandparents can talk and share with others also raising grandchildren.
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