Being There for an Ailing Loved One or Friend
Many of us have experienced a family member or close friend becoming seriously ill. It can be painful and heartbreaking. When someone you love is ill, you may want desperately to help but knowing what to do is not always easy.
Even when you’re not sure what to say or do, it’s important to know that you are helping simply by being a constant, loving presence in the person’s life. Think about it. Knowing you are loved and cared about always feels good, whether you’re facing illness or in great health. Having someone in your life who you know you can lean on and always count on makes it easier to stay strong in any situation.
We’ve put together a few suggestions you may find valuable if you have ailing loved one. We hope you find them helpful.
A few suggestions...
Just be with the person. Don’t feel you have to share words of wisdom or advice. Just listening to your loved one and acknowledging his or her thoughts and feelings can be far more meaningful and helpful than any words you might say.
When you offer to help, be specific. Ask if there is anything in particular the person needs you to do, but don’t expect the person to always have an answer. Suggest a few helpful things you can do that might make life easier for your loved one, like grocery shopping, bringing over a cooked meal, walking and feeding pets, taking on some household chores, providing transportation, helping with personal needs or grooming, etc.
Don’t shy away from physical contact. Some of the most comforting things one person can do for another involve physical touch, including a hug, holding hands, a touch on the shoulder, or a soft pat on the back.
Before you visit, check in. Make sure it’s a good time for your loved one. Ask if the person wants company and insist on a truthful answer. When you do visit, be sure not to stay too long. Stopping by quickly just to drop off a card, gift, or meal shows you’re thinking of the person.
Think before gifting. If you want to give a gift to your loved one, flowers are lovely, but you might want to try to come up with something a bit more personal or even practical. A pair of soft, fluffy slippers or comfortable pajamas can help your loved one feel nurtured. A gift membership to a streaming service can be entertaining.
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